BruNO

I've made plenty of mistakes when choosing appropriate movies to see with Mama G; that's probably because there were never any rules on what I could or couldn't see growing up, so perhaps my filter is a little less sensitive than it should be.

When I mentioned that I was going for a Sunday-night movie (I'm still used to going alone), Mama G blurted out that she'd like to join.

"Don't you need to finish folding the wash?" I asked, as I shuddered, noticing the overwhelming mound of clothes piled next to her.

She shot me a stare that smelled of a Death Wish, so I followed up with: "Well, we're seeing 'Bruno,' f-y-i."

And, on that, I turned on my heel and put my fingers in my ears so I didn't have to listen to anything after: "You're doing it on purpose, Mija! You just don't want me to go with you."

Well, she joined; I should've listened to her concerns.

When we got to the lovely, sprawling Cinemark (I don't miss the towering Manhattan theaters -- it always seemed sort of unnatural, seeing a movie on the 12th floor), we sauntered up to the box office and were met by a pimpled young man who said:

"I am supposed to warn you that 'Bruno' is extremely offensive, vile, and crude. There are homophobic, pedophilic, offensive, dirty, disgusting, unGodly, unsightly, immoral, amoral, and quite liberal overtones in this film." (More or less.)

I was pretty shocked, wondering whether this kind of cautionary overbearance was being tolerated everywhere. (As it turns out, I don't think it is, as it seems some theater in Navan, Ireland was written up for such antics.)

We went inside and ... well, gratuitous private parts aside (many, many minutes of them -- or so it seemed), it was more the almost incomprehensible lack of a point to any of it that was the real letdown.

I wasn't a huge fan of "Borat"; I wasn't offended or seduced by its targeted tricks on us ignorant Americans and our prejudiced ways ... I simply wasn't very impressed. I was much more of a fan of Bill Maher's "Religiosity," given its (ostensible) attempt to take aim at all religions as an unnecessary and harmful form of soma. Sure, it was Maher, and you could see right through his Jerry-Springer-esque ending where he denounces any and all forms of religion, advocating full eradication, but at least ... there was a point.

With "Bruno," sure we're shown a(nother) dose of worldwide homophobia -- via a martial arts instructor who says gays will attack from behind; a character who, upon adopting a child, dresses him in a "Gayby" shirt; a gay-to-straight converter who, as in Religiosity, is exceedingly effeminate; and attempts at sleeping with backwater boys out in the Sticks on a hunting trip.

Yes, these people are treating our flamboyant fashionista like a worthless social outcast, but ... he's a horrible human being. We're not being shown hilarious scenes of a gay man being treated unfairly by jerks the world over; we're shown an @sshole, who's not terribly funny and who makes me hate the term "mockumentary" even more than I used to.

Though, I did enjoy the Ron Paul scene, the Swingers scene (kind of), annnnnd ... perhaps that's it.

A couple nights later, a New Friend (well, old friend from High School) and I saw the new Harry Potter movie; I maybe fell asleep for a few minutes in the theater, but overall it was quite good. Hermione is such a stud-lette now, and seeing as how I haven't read the books (save for the first), I was rather enthralled. The following night, New/Old Friend and I watched "Defiance" ... with Daniel Craig and Liev Schreiber -- perhaps I fell asleep a bit in that one, too, but it was getting late and I've been WORKING on a 75-page grant for the past two weeks. (more on that tomorrow)

Overall, Defiance was ... a little slow at times, not very inspiringly shot (by a Harvard dude, no less), but had a great true-story premise about Russian Jews who took to the wildnerness for several years to survive during WWII.

Tomorrow begins a five-day weekend, following a two-week stint as a grant-proposal writer with no sleep - yet the most satisfying sense of doing something worthwhile since I've graduated.

Also, to a former Senior Tutor (ahem) who used to needle me daily with Crimson criticisms, I'm glad you're reading; I will respond to your thoughts tomorrow ... with my usual defenses in tact ;-)

Quantum, Bond, Intimidating Chats ... Movie Week Continues

I lived out my movie dreams this weekend. I went, I saw, I danced (the last wasn't related to the movies, it was of a Saturday-night social nature -- and it was ugly ... hobbled legs shouldn't try doing the Butterfly).

The "Cyclops" adventure -- unofficial premiere -- was awesome; Sci-Fi movies featuring one-eyed beasts in a Rome that I can only pretend to be historically-knowledgable about are best seen amongst a large group of people ... and talked about with said group over drinks afterwards.

Saturday was, as hoped, spent watching Quantum of Solace; I'm one of the only folks I know who really enjoyed it. I have to re-read some of the criticism, but from what I'd gleaned pre-viewing, most critics were mixed. Erroneous.

Post-movie, Movie Friend and I joined his family for coffee and post-viewing conversation. My initial thoughts were superficial: "Oh, well, I went in with rather lowered expectations, which were exceeded, so, I don't know -- I thought it was really great! I think Daniel Craig's an on-screen gem, a darker Bond (which suits my movie tastes), and while the action scenes were head-spinning, they didn't last SO long that I was bored." Etc.

Friend's father simply nodded and said, "Hmm. Elaborate."

Well, no pressure there.

So, I elaborated. "Weeeellllll, so I reviewed this documentary 'Flow' recently about the demonization of water privatization/commoditization ... I thought this was a very fantastical account of what someone would dream up about the evils of that industry." Wow, Grice, way to think of some bologna on those feet -- though I really had been thinking about that throughout the film. When I did that Flow review, I did so much research on that issue that it resonated well with me.

I think the movie is very, very smartly written. As was discussed over coffee, it's more of a Bourne film, rather than a traditional Bond film - which lends to some criticism, considering its arguable lack of cohesion with the genre ... but regardless, a great movie, for me.

I saw "JCVD" tonight, which I'll save for tomorrow to write about ... but it was excellent. From Rot Tom's: "In a bold and self-deprecating role, Jean-Claude finds himself out of money, fighting for custody of his daughter and losing every good action role to Steven Seagal."

The "JCVD" trailer:



I really, really respected this film.

A Premiere, Quantum, Slumdogs

It's going to be a movie-filled weekend, and upcoming week or so since my best movie friend is in town.

First, a few friends and I are going to my movie friend's movie premiere! He has a huge -- let's say starring role in it, because we can -- and his loved ones are throwing him a premiere and party to celebrate his impending (realized?) success.

Actually, he's kept tonight somewhat shrouded in mystery, so who knows what ridiculous event is happening tonight. But, no matter, I hear there will be a red carpet. Alas, we're in a Great Recession, so my chucks and jeans may have to do.

The movie is "Cyclops," and it's produced by Roger Corman. (Brother Grice, known for his love of strange movies, nearly peed himself when I told him Corman was involved.)

Can't seem to embed it, but it can be found here.

So, following that wonderful one-eyed Sci-Fi monster movie, tomorrow will be Bond time! Quantum of Solace -- yes, I know, it's not supposed to be as good as Daniel Craig's last one, but it's 007, and I find him very handsome. Might see it at the Ziegfeld, which would be neat.

Finally, I hope to see "Slumdog Millionaire" on Sunday. Aside from having an awesome title, this movie's been getting awesome, awesome reviews. It's from director Danny Boyle (of "Trainspotting," "28 Days Later") and from its IMDB page:

The story of Jamal Malik (Patel), an 18 year-old orphan from the slums of Mumbai, who is about to experience the biggest day of his life. With the whole nation watching, he is just one question away from winning a staggering 20 million rupees on India's "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?" But when the show breaks for the night, police arrest him on suspicion of cheating.

Sooooooo, it should be quite the weekend. My movie friend just said that some 190 people are invited to the red carpet event tonight. 53 minutes until they open the factory doors and let me go home!